Out of sight, but never out of mind
by glassweb
Summary: The Doctor just can't leave her, even if he is techincally gone.extract: 'She was constantly moving along, never sleeping for more than a couple of hours, reading, playing chess with the Tardis, talking out loud to him.He hoped she knew that he was listen


Regeneration is never exactly easy, but he hadn't expected it to be this hard. He just couldn't let go. He was staying put in the Tardis until she was ready to leave. Not a ghost, but his presence, his atoms, his thoughts. Everything that was left of him couldn't leave until Rose did.

_Heaven is a place nearby  
So I won't be so far away.  
And if you try and look for me  
Maybe you'll find me someday._

He was proud of her for the most part. She did what she had to and kept plodding along, more often than not with a smile on her face at least around Jack, Lynda and the new Doctor.

She'd lost something though; these days she was never able to stay still. She was constantly moving along, never sleeping for more than a couple of hours, reading, playing chess with the Tardis, talking out loud to him.

He hoped she knew that he was listening.

"You're a complete git for never telling me, you know."

_I know. Put the jacket away, Rose._

And she'd smile slightly, as if she knew exactly what he'd say, hang the jacket carefully back in the wardrobe, and wander off to do something else.

She achieved so much. She was so independent, and he didn't think she'd have that if he'd've been there to look over her shoulder.

She still jumped in with both feet, every time.

To begin with, she'd taken comfort where she could, squeezing her eyes closed and touching herself, sleeping with Jack, finding angular strangers with big ears and big smiles to keep the days coming. She'd disappear for hours from the Tardis but Jack never asked where she'd been. Lynda and the new Doctor were usually too busy to notice; Lynda needed to be taught and looked after now.

_Heaven is a place nearby  
So there's no need to say goodbye  
I wanna ask you not to cry  
I'll always be by your side._

"Doctor!"

She'd come, and then slip back, usually never even talking to the partner. And then stand and running battered leather through her hands.

"Sorry."

_I know. Put the jacket away, Rose._

When she was twenty-five, her encounters slowly trickled to a close. Sex was over for her. It wasn't the same, and she wouldn't settle for less. It would be like living on earth again.

For the Doctor, this hurt even more than her giving herself to strangers. Sex used to be an integral part of her. Another bit withered and died.

She picked up a child somewhere along the line. A five year old. She was an excellent mother, and she gave him everything she possibly could, except a stable relationship with a father figure. Jack did his best, and his best was more than enough.

Rose cried when he graduated.

_You just faded away  
You spread your wings you had flown  
Away to something unknown  
Wish I could bring you back._

_You're always on my mind  
About to tear myself apart.  
You have your special place in my heart._

Her fourty-seventh birthday was one to remember. She got her own ship; never left the Tardis for long of course, but she owned independence when she needed it. To visit her son, and catch up with her daughter in law.

She still loved clothes and books, and danger, but these days she liked flying as well.

Jackie died, and she grieved and moved on, but it only took her three years. Jackie had finished her life; she hadn't been taken unfairly. She hadn't had a high risk job.

Rose still had a wicked sense of humour. Jack had left the Tardis when he was thirty-two, to settle down with Julie and have four girls. Four very innocent girls, until the oldest was eighteen and Rose revelled telling stories involving their Dad and sonic screwdrivers. She was chased back to her room by Jack, because they still did that when he was on board, never got fed up with running round the Tardis.

Still breathless from laughing, she slid her hands inside the leather.

"I never gave up. I know you're still here somewhere. Won't be long."

_I know. Put the jacket away, Rose._

She ended up so fragile. It was too much to ask that she went on without me. I don't think I could have done as well if I'd've lost Rose.

She did amazingly. Fantastically. She had a good life.

_And even when I go to sleep  
I still can hear your voice  
And those words_

Jack was right there next to her. Though he was older, she gave up first, or came home first, depending on how you look at it. It was too young for a time traveller, seventy-three, but she'd done everything she was going to. She just wanted to come back to me.

She got into our bed with the jacket on, and this time, I didn't tell her to put it away.

Her eyes were closed as Jack leant over to kiss her on the forehead.

"He's still here, you know. He still watches and cares."

"I'm sure he does."

"I'll…say hello for you."

"Rose.." But she was gone, tumbling into my welcome arms.


End file.
